Song Selections:
Edward's POV:
"
Faithfully" by Journey
Bella's POV:
"
Like a Prayer" by Madonna
"
Kissin' U" by Miranda Cosgrove
**Edward's POV**
I hate fucking losing games. I really, really do. It's depressing and miserable and the guys on the team turn into complete fucking asshats. The reality of it was that there were two types of players on a team. The first were the ones that were mainly here to collect a fucking paycheck. They went through the motions, but when the game was over, they could give two shits less what the outcome was. They had no passion or heart and, in my opinion, a complete waste of fucking space. And right now, Milton Bradley was on my last nerve. Going zero for four with three strike-outs one day, and missing plays in the field another; it was all beyond frustrating. The team was trying to stay behind him, but come on already. His attitude was shit and for fuck's sake, he'd already been ejected and suspended and the season was only less than three weeks in. And now, he was out with a nagging groin injury. This is a prime example of why some players are a complete waste of fucking space.
Then there were the players who loved the game; ones who wore their emotions on their sleeves. Whether it be in anger, disappointment, or in happiness, you knew those guys played because they were honored that they got to make their living playing a game that they loved, and blessed that they got paid for it. I'd like to think I was one of those guys. Lee was one of those guys. And as much as I hated to admit it, Newton was one of those guys. Yeah, I said it, but don't think that such a realization doesn't make me cringe a little, because it does. As much as I couldn't stand the idiot, he was very vocal about his opinions both when the team played like shit and when they played well. He might have been known as the team jokester, but when it came time to be serious, he was. I didn't have to like him, but I had to respect him. Not that I would ever admit that shit out loud to anyone. Hell, it took everything within me to even admit it to myself.
After our four game losing streak, I was at my wit's end and the road trip had basically just started. We had one more game here in St. Louis and then we left for Arizona. I had mixed feelings about returning home. On one hand, it would be nice to be back in my house and out of a damn hotel. It also meant that I was one day closer to returning back to my new home and to Bella. On the other hand, I would be playing against my old teammates and I would be seeing Phil. I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet.
Bella and I had been talking daily on the phone. It certainly wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing. Actually, it was more than "better than nothing" because it was a start. A start at getting us back into each other's lives for good because that is where we were both meant to be, together. In all the years I've played, I had never had a girlfriend. Not that I could really consider Bella my girlfriend yet, but she was the closest thing I'd ever had to it. Maybe, in the back of my mind, that's why I've never had a girlfriend because if she wasn't Bella, there really was no point to a relationship. I used to not mind being on the road because it was always an adventure. Going out after the games, meeting new people, but that was not what I cared about anymore. Now that the second the game was over, the only thing I did care about was being back in my room alone talking to my girl. And believe it or not, I'd never felt less lonely in my life. I know it sounds crazy that a simple phone call of listening to her sweet voice could sooth me like that, but it could. No matter the distance between us, just knowing that she was there for me at the end of the day was all that mattered… she was all that mattered.
"I assure you, Edward, that Phil was completely honest with you. He likes you for you. There was no ulterior motive there. He honestly thinks of you as the son he never had. You have no idea how sad he was to see you leave Arizona," Bella pleaded her case.
I groaned. "I don't know, Bella. I want to believe that, but it's awfully hard now, knowing what I do."
She sighed. "Look, I know I made a lot of mistakes. I should have told Phil, but, and I'm going to be blunt here, if he knew that you were the one who broke my heart back then, I just don't know how he would have reacted. Obviously he is a professional and I'd like to think he would have treated you the same, but I don't know that. And honestly, I'm glad you had him. He's a great guy and you deserved that. Please, just act normally or he will suspect something."
"Don't you think I should tell him? He deserves that honesty," I asked.
"NO!" Bella blurted.
I was more than a little confused at her seemingly overreaction. This was her stepdad, why would she want to lie to him?
"They don't even know we are hanging out, so there is no reason to rush into anything, Edward. I'll tell him, if and when it is warranted. In the meantime, you are still the same Edward he has always known and loved. Just please be that guy for me; for now, anyway. Ok?" she asked or rather seemed to beg.
I was torn. On one hand, I wanted to respect Bella's wishes. We were trying to take this slow and I was afraid that any rash decision on my part would end in disaster. And Phil was her stepfather; she really should have the right to tell him about our history and our present on her own terms. On the other hand, though, Phil was someone I deeply respected. He had been a fill-in father figure for me for many years. I trusted him with my life, and I knew he trusted me. Not telling him about our past, felt like lying to him. I was a lot of things, but I had never been a liar.
In the end, I had decided to sacrifice my own dignity for Bella. I went to Arizona and spent time with Phil and never told him who I really was. This, by the way, was difficult for me to do, like really fucking difficult. In reality, it was hearing Bella's pleading in my mind that was the only thing stopping me from laying it all out on the table for him. Because of this, I could only hope that one day he would be able to forgive me for such omissions.
We lost another two out of three games in Arizona which only seemed to piss me off even more. Seriously, like I wanted to lose to them? Hell no! Everyone was frustrated and on edge and I thanked god I was not staying at the damn hotel with those guys. I was able to sleep in a real bed and eat food that was not from room service. While this prospect should have lifted my spirits a little, it didn't because my house that had been my home for nearly seven years now felt empty. It didn't feel like a home anymore. It was in these moments that I realized that my true home was back in Chicago or wherever the hell Bella was at this exact moment. They always say that home is where you heart is and my home was, and always has been, with Bella because she is the only one who could ever have my heart.
I'd been searching for a place that felt right to me for years without success, and now I knew that if I could just keep her, I could be happy anywhere. It wasn't a place I had been searching for, it was a person. Not just any person, but the girl who had always held my heart in the palms of her tiny, soft hands. Naturally, though, my heart was now a little more fragile and a little less naïve then it had been years ago, but she held it just the same, whether she knew it or not.
This time away from her had really given me a lot of opportunity to think. Our relationship was definitely strengthening. I knew I'd have to regain her trust if I wanted any chance of things moving further and this trip was the first challenge. Given our history and my reputation, warranted or not, Bella needed to see that I was committed to her and only her. That I was not the playboy the press had made me out to be. Personally, I felt this would be the easiest of all my challenges. I wasn't interested in any way, shape, or form in hooking up with any woman that was not my Bella. But I couldn't fault her in needing to see this for herself because her trust in me, and us, was still a bit fragile. I completely understood this and knew that rebuilding it was going to be a slow process. This was fine by me because our talking every night was laying the foundation for a stronger relationship and a strong future together. With this in mind, however I was also not naïve enough to think that one road trip was going to be enough to prove anything to her, but it was certainly a good start.
Baby steps my friend, baby steps.
Leaving Phoenix was a welcome damn relief. While the warm weather had been like heaven after playing so many games in thirty and forty degree temperatures, which is completely shitty baseball playing weather by the way, I couldn't wait to get back home. We had a six game home stand and then another six days on the road so I was bound and determined to make the most out of those six days at home.
The first thing I did when I got back into town was call Bella. I couldn't wait to see her, but it was going to have to wait until after the game we had tonight. Of course said game ended in another loss after our reliever let up six runs in the final innings. Needless to say, Bella was not in the greatest of moods after the game and as badly as I wanted to see her, I thought it might be better to wait until tomorrow. Both of us being irritable after the loss would probably not allow for a promising or enjoyable evening.
We were scheduled for day games the entire weekend against the Marlins. I don't think I'd ever played so many day games with the Diamondbacks as I had in the first month of play with the Cubs, but I guess that was some type of tradition with their team. I had mentioned it to Bella once during conversation and she told me it had something to do with homeowners in the area and the Mayor wanting to prevent any type of mischievous behavior at night. This explanation was ridiculous since most of the patrons in the area were all watching the game anyway, but what the hell ever. She said it was something her and Emmett were trying to change, but that so far it had been a dead-end.
Day games were interesting in that you had your evenings free to do as you liked, but unfortunately it didn't really allow for too much since you had to be up early and back to the park in the late morning. However, they did allow Bella and I to have dinner on occasion and for that I had to be somewhat grateful.
Amazingly, the team seemed to get their shit together and we were able to pull out wins in four out of the six games of our home stand. Thank fucking god is all that could be said for this! This joyous occasion allowed Bella and I to spend three of those last five nights together having dinner or at least coffee.
Alice had invited Bella, Jasper and I over for dinner on Saturday and for the first time in years it felt like we were really a couple. We spent the evening sharing drinks and conversation by the fire pit on her patio. The four of us really meshed well together and I couldn't help but hope for many more nights like this one in our future. The weather was still pretty chilly at night, but it was the perfect excuse for Bella and I to cuddle up to one another in the oversized patio chair. Between the fire, the wine, and the warm blanket we had lying over us, it felt almost like a cool summer night. Bella entwined our fingers together under the blanket and we sat like that for hours enjoying each other's company. It was the most content I had been in months, maybe even years, and I had could only hope that this feeling would never end. Unfortunately, the evening did eventually come to an end, thus leading Bella and I to part as usual, with a hug and a kiss on her forehead. Tonight really felt like the perfect time to kiss her goodbye, but I was still leery of pushing my luck too far and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin this otherwise flawless night.
However, I'd be remiss to not admit that I was getting antsy waiting for our relationship to take the next step. On Tuesday evening I'd be leaving for another five game road trip. I was dreading it more than usual since it seemed we were really making such good progress in our relationship, and I was afraid the distance might set us back a few steps when I came back. But this was my job and traveling was something we were both going to have to get used to if we wanted this to work. I could only keep my fingers crossed for the best.
**Bella POV**
I hated these road trips more than I'd ever like to admit to Edward. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I missed him more than what was probably healthy and the whole thing was making me feel extremely weak and vulnerable. He melted my heart much too fast and I was afraid of letting down my walls too quickly. He made me feel emotions in ways I had forgotten even existed. Things were so perfect, maybe even too perfect; it all just seemed too good to be true.
On Saturday evening, I thought for sure he would kiss me goodbye. I was ready for it, hell I felt like I couldn't be more obvious in my want for it. But Edward was either not in the same place as I was emotionally, or he was completely blind to my signs. I mean, did I need a neon flashing sign pointing to me blinking "kiss me" or something? Rest assured, if this is what it took, I sure as shit would rush around all of Chicago looking for one immediately. Geesh! I couldn't be sure what the holdup was, but I was desperate for that kiss to happen again and soon. The memory of the one we shared at the club still made my lips tingle and like an addict, I was craving more. This time, however, I was ready to give back just as good as I had gotten and then some.
Fuck me! Who the hell thought so much analysis would go into a kiss for crying out loud?
Edward called me every day while he was gone and, whether he knew it or not, his calls were the absolute highlight of my day. They always seemed to bring a smile to my face which is something I hadn't really done for so long. It was amazing how a simple call or text from him could mean the world to me, but they did. This is not to say, however, that such calls also had an underlying message because they did. I know that he was indirectly trying to prove to me that he wasn't interested in meeting or hooking up with any other women. That he came back to the hotel to talk to me rather than going out and socializing with the team or the general public. In all honesty, I was really trying to not think about that issue. On one hand, I was elated that he was in the hotel alone and spending his free time with me, but on the other, I really didn't want him isolating himself from the other team members. If this was going to work, I was going to have to learn to trust him. I'm not sure I was there yet, but I hoped in time I could be.
I still hadn't mentioned anything to Emmett or Rose about our relationship. I knew that I needed to, but I was still a little nervous about their reactions. Rose would be more worried about me getting hurt than anything else. She was fiercely protective, to a flaw at times. I couldn't blame her for this, as she was the one who really saw me at my lowest and most vulnerable. She would also probably question my damn sanity, especially after the freak out I had at the club. And I knew that any type of fight or disagreement Edward and I got into, she would likely become involved in that "I told you so" type of bullshit I was attempting to avoid. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure that some types of disagreements were bound to come up with all the history we had together that had not yet been discussed. Her opinions made me the most nervous. I wanted to be able to fight for this relationship and I was afraid that her defensiveness and protectiveness of me might enable me to run away like I always had in the past. I would need her and everyone else to push me through the hard times ahead if Edward and I were to have a chance at a real future together.
As far as Emmett was concerned, I wasn't so worried about his protectiveness of me as I was about his protectiveness of the team. He might judge a relationship between Edward and I as a distraction to both of us professionally. There obviously were not too many cases of players dating their bosses and owners of the franchise, so I had no idea how Emmett or the public would perceive us. Nor for that matter, how the other players or members of the board would see us, but I'm sure it would not be favorably. Stupid media and stupid nosey people! I didn't want anyone to think that Edward would be receiving any type of preferential treatment because we were in a relationship. He had a ten year contract that would take him until his thirty-seventh birthday, so whether a new negotiation would ever be needed was unknown. Hell, who even knew if he'd still want to be with me once he found out about my side of our history.
I wanted so much to believe I was over-thinking all of this, but I had a sinking feeling that the fall out of all this might be worse than I was even imagining. What I did know was that I needed Emmett on my side if I was going to have any chance in hell of this being successful. If we were "playing for the same team" so to speak, if and when Edward and I ever went public with this, I'd have a better chance with the board members at least. Telling Emmett was going to need to happen soon. If we were spotted or reported in any type of intimate way while in public together before I told him, the shit would most definitely hit the fan. I was hoping to wait until I could see if this was really going to go anywhere, but truthfully I had dodged a bullet when we had spent time at the Aquarium and had not been caught by a photog or some overzealous fan looking to make a quick buck. I had been privately berating myself for this decision for the last few weeks. And with the team on the road, we had several days of quiet time in the office where Emmett and I could talk privately about the situation.
We won our first two games in Houston and Emmett was in a pretty jovial mood, so I took a chance on Friday afternoon to sit down and talk with him about the situation.
"Hey Em, you got a few minutes?" I asked tentatively when I knocked on his office door.
Emmett was sitting at his desk and sorting through a multitude of different files so I walked in and took a seat. "Sure B, what's up? I was just looking through some of our minor league prospect stats to see how they were doing. There might be a few we could consider bringing up later in the season if necessary."
"Oh, well that's good, I guess," I answered distractedly, trying to figure out the best way to broach the upcoming conversation.
Emmett laughed unexpectedly and shook me from my thoughts. "You're not even paying attention to me, my dear cousin. Since you obviously don't want to discuss the team, what did you come in here to talk about?"
I took a deep breath before I began trying to settle my nerves. "Well it's more personal and I could use some advice, but it does involve the team in some ways," I quickly added the last part.
Emmett furrowed his brows. "Okay. Can you be a
little more forthcoming with the details, because right now, I have no idea how your personal life and the team really have any direct relation. Unless you are planning to take a leave of absence or something. Oh god, Bella, please tell me you aren't?"
"No. No of course not, Emmett. Why would I need a personal leave, especially this early in the season?"
"Well for the life of me, I really don't know, B, but it would help if you'd just get to the point then and stop me from guessing what the hell you're talking about," he stated bluntly.
The last thing I needed was Emmett frustrated before I even told him about Edward so I decided it was best just to get it out there. Taking a deep breath, I quietly stated "Alright, sorry Em. I'm just nervous, okay? So the thing is... I've been talking to Edward."
He stared at me, not showing any type of emotion to help me gauge his reaction. "Alright... Go on. How is that going?"
"Um, well so far it's going pretty well. We haven't really addressed much of our past yet, but..." I trailed off not really knowing how to say all this since Edward and I hadn't really defined our relationship yet. "Look, Em, I don't want to lie to you. We've sort of been
seeing each other quietly for the past few weeks."
We were merely seconds into this conversation and I already felt as if I was a five year old child getting questioned by her kindergarten teacher for taking a crayon or something.
Emmett stared down at his desk folding his hands in front of him. "And when you say
seeing, do you mean meeting up and talking or do you mean dating?"
I bit my lower lip into my mouth. "I mean dating... maybe."
"Maybe? What the hell does that mean?" he said looking back up at me. His blue eyes were asking all sorts of questions that I didn't have the answers to yet.
Exhaling deeply I launched into an explanation. "Well we haven't really defined anything yet, but yes, I'd say we are dating. We talk on the phone every day and we spend time at each other's homes having dinner and such. It isn't sexual, at least yet, but I thought you should know." I said nervously.
"Bella," he said shaking his head. "This could have serious consequences for each of you. Have you even thought about that? I'm not opposed to you or one of my players dating someone, but I don't really think a player dating an owner is really appropriate. Can you imagine what people would say? Jesus, Bella! The more I think about this, the worse it gets in my mind. What the hell were you thinking?"
This was precisely the reaction I was hoping to avoid, but I guess given the circumstances I couldn't really blame him. But, I knew that if I wanted Edward and I to work, I was going to have to fight for us every step of the way. So, I figured there was no time like the present to do just that.
"Well to be honest, I'm trying
not to think for once. I'm trying to follow what's in my heart for the first time in my life. I'm tired of giving up on my personal life. I've been doing that for over ten years, Emmett and I don't want to do it anymore. I know this could be disastrous. It could also be the most rewarding experience in my life. My feelings for him have never gone away. I have no intention of going around and flaunting this relationship, but I also don't want to have to hide it completely either. We can be smart about things and take it slow. We've been taking it slow and I think we will continue with that because we are both afraid of getting hurt again.
Look, I'm not exactly seeking for your permission here, Emmett. We're equal partners and I'm not going to let you dictate my private life, but I would like your support. I'm sure the board will have issues with this and I'd really like us to be on the same team when the time comes. I'm asking you to trust me here, just like you always do," I stated, pleading my case.
Emmett sat quietly for a few moments thinking before taking in a deep breath and then exhaling. "Bella, Bella, Bella. You are impossible sometimes." He bit the inside of his cheek before continuing. "Alright, on one condition. You wait until the season is over to tell him about the baby. I think the relationship in general and the rest of your issues will be enough for the two of you to try and handle during the season. If he finds out about the baby issue during the season... I don't know, Bella. If it was me, there was no way I could concentrate at all. He might need some time to work through this and he won't have that opportunity during the season. It could be disastrous."
And with this, I could feel my eyes widening and my face scrunching into the "I don't think I can do this" look. It's something Emmett is all too familiar with and I was sure he would call me out on it at any minute.
"You're giving me that look right now. I get it. I know I'm asking you to continue to withhold information from him and that's not really fair at the beginning of the relationship, but think about it professionally, Bella. This is a business. We've paid him millions of dollars to perform and perform well. More importantly than him, I need you to perform. And let's be honest here, neither of you will be able to do that if all this comes out. You know it and I know it."
Once again, I found myself chewing on my lower lip. From a clearly professional standpoint there was no denying that Emmett was correct, but I wasn't sure I could continue to withhold that information from Edward personally. It just wasn't right and I didn't want him to think that I was lying to him about something either. Even after ten years apart, Edward was able to read my emotions like a book and, while he may not know about the baby, it doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to sense that something was a little off. For this to work, we were both going to need to be as honest as possible. It came down to what was more important- the business or my personal relationship with Edward. This time the two couldn't be separated.
"I can't lie to him, Emmett. Please don't ask me to do that. It isn't fair to either of us. I see your point, really I do, but I can't make a promise like that," I stated simply.
Emmett closed his eyes in defeat. "Fine, don't promise me, but at least try, Bella. You know what this will do to him. Please just consider that before you start talking. You need to really think about whether you'd be telling him for his own good, or whether it would be to eliminate you own guilt. It's both I know, but just consider him and his feelings when you do this. It's taken you years to come to terms with the decision you made, you can't expect Edward to just accept it and move on. I know I wouldn't be able to."
"Okay. I'll try. You're right, I guess. I know some of this is about clearing my own conscious, and that's not the right reason to tell him. I have to consider how he'll react and I'm sure it won't be favorably," I reluctantly agreed. "So then..."
"Then I'll support your decision. I like Edward, I do. I worry about you of course, Bella if this goes south, but there is no question that there is some chemistry between the two of you. You'd have to be blind not to see it. I had crossed my fingers that nothing was going to come of it, but I had a feeling that eventually we'd be having this discussion.
Just take it slow. I don't want to see you get hurt. We've definitely got some obstacles with the board and the players and the league in general, but we'll muddle through it. I'm not going to ask you to hide the relationship, but be smart about it Bella, both here and in public. And I'm thinking that, professionally speaking, it might be better if Edward reports directly to me, if it's necessary. I'm sure that would make the board more confident," Emmett added.
I smiled letting myself have hope that these obstacles might be easier than I had originally thought. "Sounds fair, Em. I'm on board. Do you think we need to come forward with this right away or wait for something to happen when it comes to the executive board members?"
Emmett shrugged. "I honestly don't know, B. Let's just let your relationship develop a little and then we'll reevaluate if necessary."
Having a little more confidence than when I first entered the office, I looked over my shoulder at Emmett one last time and asked "When the hell did you get so smart anyway?"
After letting out a little chuckle and shaking his head lightly he responded "Well B, you're going to have to ask Rose that because I am guessing she would beg to differ."
And with that, I turned and left the office for the day. While I was much more confident with Emmett on my side when it came to the relationship in general, I still left the office for the day feeling torn with the conversation. I still wasn't sure what the best answer was when it came to Mackenzie. I knew that finding out about her was bound to break his heart, so my only hope was that when he did find out about her our relationship would be strong enough to survive it.
When Edward called later that night after the game, I told him I wanted to do something special together on Monday evening after he got home. He readily agreed and I mentally started planning the perfect Edward date. Something that would allow us to be ourselves would be best. Dinner at some fancy restaurant would probably just make us both nervous. Navy Pier might be perfect though. It wasn't so busy this time of the year, and being that it was a Monday night and school was still in, we'd probably get some privacy. The atmosphere would relax both of us. We could just have fun for once and eat caramel apples, because let's be honest, how can you not have fun when caramel apples are involved.
~xx~THC~xx~
Three days later I was rushing to finish getting dressed before Edward arrived at my home. I had decided on skinny black jeans, a light-weight black flowy blouse that tied at the waist and a pair of comfy black heels since the weather was actually unseasonably warm for the day. I left my hair down, but decided to straighten it, instead of leaving it naturally wavy. I finished just as I heard a knock on my door.
In through the nose, out through the mouth Bella. Just breathe.
After giving myself a quick reminder, I opened the door and immediately smiled when I saw Edward. I was so excited that I had to refrain myself from running and throwing myself into his arms. It seemed like it had been much longer than a week since I had last seen him. Yeah, I guess you could say that I missed him something fierce. He stood before me looking absolutely delicious in his casual clothes. Could being gone for a week make someone look yummier than before? I am thinking that this must be the case, because I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had on a polo shirt and jeans with those black boots again as well as a UCLA baseball cap. It reminded me of something he might have worn in high school and my heart rate quickened just a bit at the thought.
"You look beautiful, Bella. Did I go too casual? You're much more dressed up than I am," Edward questioned looking down at my shoes, before giving me his usual kiss on my forehead. If I had my way, that situation was going to be rectified before the end of this night.
I shook my head. "Nope. You're perfect for where we're going. I'm just such a girl and I can't resist wearing heels. Plus, that one time I wore my flats, I felt like a midget standing next to you," I chuckled.
Rolling his beautiful green eyes and quietly laughing, he asked "Okay, if you're sure. So where are we off to?"
I grabbed my wristlet and locked my door. "I was thinking we could head down to Navy Pier and just hang out. Should be pretty quiet there tonight and we could just relax and have fun, you know?"
"Sounds like fun. I haven't been there yet. Mind if I drive tonight? I'd really like to learn how to get around on my own a little more. I swear I can only get from my place to the stadium, your place, or Jasper's. It's pathetic," he laughed.
We headed down to my garage and he stopped next to a black Aston Martin convertible and just like the gentleman he was, he opened the passenger door for me. "Damn Edward. This is quite an upgrade from your high school car. What is it you're trying to make up for?" I teased.
He smirked and leaned down closer to my face. "I'm pretty sure you know first-hand that there is nothing that I need to make up for, at least physically, with some fancy car Bella. And furthermore, there was nothing wrong with the Volvo I drove in high school. It was a safe car for teenaged boy who preferred to drive faster than he should have," he playfully stated.
After he got himself situated into the driver's side, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. "Whatever you say Edward." He gave me another smirk before pulling out of the spot. "I have to admit, though, it is a beautiful car. Did you have it all custom done?"
"Yeah. It was the first ostentatious gift I got myself when I signed my first real contract in the majors. I guess I wanted something to show that I had made it. I'd always admired these cars and I could finally afford one, so I went for it," he said sounding embarrassed.
"Are you embarrassed because you bought something so materialistic as your first purchase?" I asked, looking at him in amazement. He shrugged a little so I continued. "I think that's pretty normal, Edward. Both Emmett and I did similar things and Alice and Rose are the worst when it comes to shopping. I'm certainly not going to judge you."
The right side of his mouth lifted in his trademark crooked smile. "Well good, because to be honest I really like this car and I don't want to have to feel bad about spending the kind of money on it that I did."
I shook my head and laughed. "You're such an ass. Turn right when you get to the next light."
We continued to make small talk as we drove and finally arrived at the Pier. Edward came around and opened my door again grabbing my hand and helping me out of the car. "Do I need to hold your hand hostage again while we're here, or can I trust you not to try and beat me up?" he asked.
I smirked finding his teasing completely adorable. "I'm not sure. Maybe you should hold onto it just in case. Sometimes my hand has a mind of its own."
We headed up to the Pier and started the long walk towards the upper deck where Pier Park is located. Edward's eyes brightened as he looked at his surroundings. "Wait a minute, is this some sort of amusement park thing? I rock at these boardwalk games."
"No one
rocks at these games, Edward, even you. Though it would probably be amusing watching you try."
I led him over to the ticket window and we bought tickets for the five-ride combo. That way we could experience all of them if he wanted. We started on the Light Tower ride and were bounced up thirteen feet and then back down again. I screamed. That stupid ride always made me feel a little queasy. Next we headed for the musical carousel. I felt a little childish riding the white horse with the flowery decorations around its neck, but Edward looked utterly ridiculous trying to ride on the frog. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at him.
After the ride we headed past some concession stands and Edward bought us a caramel apple to share. "Mmm," he hummed with a full mouth. "It's mouth-watering. I haven't had one of these in years."
He held the stick and I tilted my head to take a bite, spilling some peanuts from the outside down over my chin. "Oops," I smiled, trying to catch them with my hand. Edward beat me to it though and wiped my chin with a napkin.
He laughed lightly. "You are just as klutzy and messy as you always were, I see."
I frowned at him. "Am not," I argued petulantly.
Edward brought his arm around my shoulder pulling me towards his chest. He bent down and then whispered into my ear, "Yeah, you are, but it's absolutely endearing." He then gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and I felt myself blush slightly. The things this man did to me made me feel like a teenager all over again.
We walked slowly, his arm still wrapped around me as we shared the apple. It felt so right being like that in his arms. I was determined for sure at this point that the elusive kiss was going to happen tonight. God, I never thought I would see the day where I would have to be devising a plan to kissing a boy. Unbelievable.
When we finished off the apple, we headed over towards the wave swinger. We were the only ones on the ride so the operator let us go on a little longer than normal. Flying through the air made me feel so light, like all of my inhibitions were left flying out of my jean pockets. I was purely happy and carefree much like a child.
"Bella," Edward called reaching out for my hand. I smiled and tried to reach for him. The whole experience was sort of surreal. I felt almost like I was dreaming. I couldn't believe he was actually here with me after all this time. I had to say a little prayer to plead with God not to ever let this end.
When we finally got off the ride, Edward insisted on trying his hand at the games. Low and behold, he failed time and time again. Apparently he didn't
rock at these things after all. "I don't get it. I'm usually really good at these things," he pouted.
I laughed at him and rolled my eyes. "Sure you are, Golden boy."
"I am. I swear. Okay, one more time. I promise I'll win you something."
Tugging on his arm, I tried to pull him away. "I don't need you to win me anything, Edward. I already know how good you are. I pay you eighteen million dollars a year to show it to me. Now come on, it's dark and there is nothing like seeing the sights of Chicago at night on the ferris wheel."
Edward followed me reluctantly over towards the enormous Ferris wheel that was originally built back in the 1890's. The ride was over seven minutes long, but we gave the man the last of our tickets so we could stay on it for awhile. Once we were seated in the gondola with the door closed, it started to move slowly upwards. The night air off the lake was cool as we got higher and higher and I couldn't help but snuggle into his warm side. I hummed in contentment as I felt his body heat beginning to warm me and his cheek lightly resting on the top of my head.
Wrapping his arm around me tightly, Edward took in the view. "It really is beautiful, Bella. Thank you for this; I've had a lot of fun tonight."
I mumbled a "welcome" into his chest and felt him shiver. He pulled me closer yet and I couldn't help but close my eyes. I felt so safe and warm in his arms. Like it was where I should have always been. I silently berated myself once again, for walking away from all of it without an explanation.
Edward must have been feeling the same way, because I suddenly heard him apologizing. "I'm so sorry, Bella. For everything. For the past, for pushing you so much when I saw you again, for not being able to win you a stupid stuffed animal..."
I looked into his eyes and laughed at his last statement. "Edward, please shut up you're ruining the moment."
He huffed out a small smirk and looked deep into my eyes like he could see my soul. His emerald green eyes seemed to darken as he stared at me. I was physically unable to look away from him and I could hardly breathe under his gaze. This was the moment I had been waiting for since he walked back into my life. The moment I have been dreaming about since kissing him at the club. This was probably the moment I have been waiting for throughout the past ten years. His head moved slowly towards mine but he seemed tentative, so I gradually lifted my head meeting him the rest of the way.
Our lips touched feather light at first and I swear I could feel the electricity between us in just that initial instant. The next touch was a little more confident and I could feel his lips lightly massaging mine. At that moment, time seemed to stop around us and my senses came alive for the first time in years. My hands gently found their way to the back of his neck and into his hair, bringing back memories of how much we both loved it when I did this. Increasing my strength, I held onto him for dear life as we kissed slowly and sweetly, trying to hold onto every second of this wondrous event.
For once in my life, everything seemed to make perfect sense. I let down my walls and just enjoyed the moment. I'd never felt so safe and secure. He completed me in every way imaginable. It's amazing how quiet and serene it is when your head finally shuts off and stops second-guessing everything.
Edward's arms wrapped tightly around my waist as our kiss deepened and our tongues began to caress one another. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my mouth which only seemed to urge Edward on as he pulled on my waist allowing me to twist in my seat until I was practically in his lap.
I have no idea how long we stayed like that, making out like teenagers, but we pulled away when we finally heard a throat clearing realizing that the ride had stopped and the operator was waiting for us to exit. I blushed furiously and Edward chuckled before taking my hand and helping me out of the gondola. "That was by far the best ride I have even been on," he whispered as he held me close to him.
We walked hand in hand down the pier at a leisurely pace, wanting to draw out the night as long as possible. "You want to get an ice cream cone?" I asked when my mind finally started working again.
Edward stopped at a small ice cream shop and got us each a cone. He opted for the mint chocolate chip, much like I thought he would. He was so predictable sometimes. I picked the cappuccino chip because the espresso smell of it intrigued me when I tried a sample.
"Careful, baby. Yours is dripping and I don't want you to get it on your shirt," he said. I lifted the cone to eye level and twirled it around looking for offending drip in the night sky but couldn't seem to find the culprit. "Here, let me get that for you," he asserted as his tongue darted out and licked at the top and side of the cone.
I was practically mesmerized by that tongue and longed to feel it licking up against me once more. "You okay? You seem a little out of it," he chuckled.
Yeah, he definitely knew where my mind was going with that.
I shook my inappropriate thoughts away and smiled back at him. "Yeah, sorry. I'm good, great even," I replied smiling a little larger.
He just shook his head and chuckled. Like I said, that man could read me like an open book.
We finished our cones on the way back to the car. He had a little ice cream on the side of his mouth so I took one of the clean napkins and wet it slightly in a water fountain and wiped it clear. His crooked smile appeared again. "Am I all clean now, Mom?"
I swatted at him playfully and he pulled me towards him kissing me chastely on the lips once again. "What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?" he quietly mumbled just inches away from my lips.
I groaned. Tomorrow was going to be a hellishly long day. We actually had a night game, but I was scheduled in meetings almost all afternoon. God-dammed meetings. I hate meetings with every fiber of my being. "Probably around eleven-thirty," I answered.
"It's getting kind of late," he noted as he peeked at his watch. "I guess I should be getting you back home."
"I guess," I reluctantly agreed.
We drove back towards my house holding hands the entire time. When we pulled into my garage we drove around for awhile looking for a guest spot for him to pull into. "Don't worry about it, Edward. You don't have to walk me up. Just pull into this handicapped spot for a minute."
"You don't want me to walk you back to your place?" he questioned once we were parked.
"It's not that at all. I just don't want you to have to drive around here forever looking for a spot. It's not easy to find one this time of night." I stated.
He smiled at me sadly. "I guess I'll have to remember that."
I smirked, "Yeah, I guess so."
Edward slowly reached over, gently massaging my cheek and jaw with his hand and then tugged lightly, bringing my face towards his. We shared a sweet goodnight kiss, our lips tenderly caressing one another's. When we parted for a moment he admitted "you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He then smiled a genuinely beautiful smile, leaned in and kissed me again.
"God, Edward, me too." I whispered without thinking.
"Really?" he asked looking into my eyes. I could only nod my head. "Well, this changes things. Are you alright with that?"
"Yes," I answered. Because I was more than alright with that; it was all I ever wanted.
