“Glycerine” by Bush
“Sex and Candy” by Marcy Playground
“Don't You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Plan
**Bella POV**
“Hey Jake,” I answered breathing heavily. I had to literally sprint to my room to grab my cell phone and was lucky I got to it just before it went to voice mail.
“Wanna explain to me why Austin is going around telling everyone that my date for the prom is now going with Edward,” Jake said coldly on the other end of the line.
I was dumbfounded. Was he serious? Jake and I had been best friends for six years and we did everything together. We were friends, soul-mates in a Joey and Dawson sort of way, and nothing more. At the beginning of the year, I had asked Jake to take me to the dance. I knew my mom would be upset if I didn't go and Jake was the only person I could see myself going with and having a good time. But that was long before Edward Masen rode in on his white horse and stole my heart. We met about two weeks ago and had started dating about a week after that. That may not have seemed like a very long time, but I never in my life had I had feelings like I did for him. So, when Edward asked me to go with him to prom, there was no way I could turn him down. I mean, I loved Jake but I would have been batshit crazy to tell Edward I couldn’t go with him. From the moment I laid eyes on Edward I knew I was in love with him, so him and I at prom together was the only option for me.
I figured that Jake of all people would understand. Edward and I had been almost inseparable since the first day we met. He must have had some inclination that this was at least a possibility. I suppose I should have told him earlier today when I agreed to go with Edward, but honestly Jake still had plenty of time to find another date. The prom wasn't for another two weeks and in a small town like Forks, that was still a long way off and most people hadn't even settled on a date yet.
“Come on, Jake. Are you serious right now? Edward is my boyfriend, I can't tell him no. I almost feel obligated to go with him. It is the right thing to do and you know how happy he makes me. I feel like I'm floating on a cloud half the time. If you and I went to together, I would just spend all my time with him anyway. That's not fair to you. It's not like you are going to have any trouble finding another girl to go with you. Half those girls are constantly throwing themselves at you.”
I was babbling, but I didn't care. I shouldn't even have to explain this to him. As my best friend, he really should just know. I couldn't ever remember being as happy as I was since Edward and I started dating. My whole world had been flipped upside down in the most amazing way. I saw the positive in almost everything and I had never been one of those kinds of girls. I wouldn't say I was pessimistic, but I was a realist. I saw things for what they were, I didn't dig to try and give them a fresh spin. But Edward changed all that. He made me see the beauty in myself and in the world. He complimented and treated me like no one else ever had. His parents had certainly raised him to be a chivalrous and courteous boy. He was so turn-of-the-century sometimes in his mannerisms, it made me laugh. And apparently, laugh out loud.
Jake cut into my thoughts coldly. “Why are you laughing right now? Is this whole scenario supposed to be funny, because I certainly don't find it to be. This was supposed to be our night, Bella. We've been planning this for almost a year and now you just decide to go out and find someone better? Your best friend and partner in crime for the last seven years is all of a sudden not good enough for you?”
Now he was just starting to piss me off. Of course, he had been my best friend, but we were growing up and I would be moving back to Chicago in just a few weeks and obviously he must have realized I would be making new friends and new memories there, without him. I know that sounds harsh, but again, I'm a realist, and it was the cold, hard truth.
Speaking as patiently as I could, I tried to explain to him again. “Look Jake, I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt, that was not my intention. I really thought you'd be more understanding. This is our senior prom and I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never done this whole girly thing, but I'm really excited for it. I want the whole experience, and that means going with my boyfriend, wearing a fancy dress and getting my hair done, wearing a corsage, dancing to slow, corny songs while kissing like there is no one else in the room, and maybe even having sex afterwards. Maybe. I haven't decided on that one.”
Edward and I had only kissed a few times since we started dating. They were sweet and innocent kisses, but they left me yearning for more. I had a plan to change that very soon, if he was up for it. I could barely stand being in his presence without wanting to touch him. Everywhere. I'd never done any of this before, but I had never been more ready. With Edward it just felt right, regardless of how long we had known each other.
“Ugh!” Jake spat into the receiver. “I feel like I don't even know you anymore, Bella. Some alien has definitely come and stole your soul, replacing it with this generic persona. You hardly even know this guy, Bells, and you are already talking about giving it up to him. What's wrong with you?”
Ok, I'm trying to see the positive here, but I'm pretty sure that my supposed best friend was basically, yet indirectly, calling me a slut. How dare he? “Glad to know how little my happiness means to you, Jake. Why don't you break it down and tell me how you really feel? Feel free to spell out how you think I'm a slut, because that is exactly what you are saying.”
Just then, I heard a knock on my front door and ran back downstairs to let Edward in. It was Friday afternoon and we had all night to hang out without any interruption, since my Mom wasn't coming home this weekend. He was standing on my front porch leaning against the door frame. I had to swallow to avoid the excessive secretions in my mouth that threatened to pool down and out of the corner of my lips. He smirked as he saw my eyes rake over him from his head down to his crotch and back up again. I licked my bottom lip and sucked it into my mouth without processing what I was doing. He looked so damn sexy. I couldn't believe he was mine.
“Hey, beautiful,” he replied as he kissed me on the forehead then rubbed his nose against mine. Gnome kisses, they were kind of our thing. “What's with the scowl you had on your face when you answered the door?”
I pointed to the phone and Edward nodded in understanding. He walked over to the couch and sat down, flipping on the TV to watch the Mariners game. I smiled. He was so understanding. So perfect.
“Oh of course, Loverboy is already at your house, I see. I suppose you have to go now. Can't spend even fifteen minutes apart can we?” Jake said sarcastically.
Fuck, Jake. He hadn't made any attempts to get to know Edward. He judged him from the moment he first met him at the baseball game. I noticed the way Jake eyed him up when he crashed into me and the bleachers. Like Edward could have possibly done that on purpose. Jake was so ridiculous sometimes and I was starting to see that this was one of those times. “Fuck you, Jake. I'm not going to keep arguing about this. My mind has been made up. I'm going to that damn dance with Edward and that is final. Now you can either accept this, like a true friend should, or you can keep it up, but I'm warning you, as you are very close to crossing a line with me right now,” I tersely warned.
Edward looked over the back of the couch and at me suddenly, furrowing his brows and scowling, realizing whom I was speaking to and no doubt wondering what kind of line Jake was about to cross, and not appreciating that fact that I was having to defend myself to him in this manner. I continued to pace back and forth in the kitchen waiting for Jake's reply. Edward walked over towards the kitchen and hopped up on top of my overly large kitchen table my mom had insisted on. When I neared him he stopped me mid-stride, pulling me back against his chest. I sighed in content and then once more in aggravation as I looked down at the hardwood on the floor and saw the black scuff marks my new shoes had made during my frenzied pacing. Shit, I was not in the mood to clean that up right now.
Then Jake spoke the words that literally shook me to my core. “Fine, go ahead and refuse a dying man his last wish. And you say I'm the bad friend, Bella.” I gasped in horror, my eyes practically bulging out of my head. Oh. No. He. Didn't. How dare he bring that up right now and try to guilt trip me into going with him.
Edward reached for the phone, but I shrugged out of his grasp stepping away from him and gave him a stern look. The act was appreciated, but I didn't need him fighting my battles for me. The look on his face changed to one of hurt and I softened my stance, but did not relent. Instead I squared my shoulders up, turning away from Edward and said very low and coldly into the phone, “That just crossed the line, Jake. I'm going to pretend that you didn't just say that. Instead I'm going to hang up and we can try and discuss your feelings about this a later time when you've calmed down enough to think rationally.”
I pushed the end button on my phone not waiting for Jake to respond with something else and took a deep breath in, trying to clear my head. I was not about to let Jake ruin my time with my boy. Happy thoughts. I needed to go to my happy place right now, so I didn't lose it. I closed my eyes briefly picturing Edward back leaning against my door only a few minutes ago. That beautiful mess of bronze-brown hair on his head, the twinkling green eyes, the angular jaw, and that damn knee-buckling crooked smile that he only used on me. Sigh. Yep, I was now in my happy place.
I smiled obliviously as I turned back around to look at my beautiful boy still sitting on my table. My beautiful boy, however, with the now pissed off look on his face. What now? I seriously couldn't take much more of this today. “What did he say to you, Bella? I saw that look on your face. He hurt you. No one hurts my baby and gets away with it. He better be ready, because Monday in school he and I will be exchanging some words if not more,” Edward said darkly. His voice was controlled but his eyes showed his rage bubbling under the surface.
My patience was wearing thin and even though I knew Edward had the best intentions when defending me, I was not a damsel in distress here. Jake and I had argued many a times in the past and although this time he threw more low blows than I was used to, I knew in time we would be fine. I walked back towards Edward, positioning myself between his legs and started to rub his upper arms. This little tactic was something I had picked up in the few days I had known him and seemed to always bring him down off whatever ledge he was standing on whenever he was agitated or upset. I could feel how tense his biceps were beneath the tee-shirt he was wearing. He looked deep into my eyes and I could see his rage slipping away. His eyes softened and then changed color becoming a dark jewel tone that I had not seen previously. The new color fascinated me and nearly took my breath away. I couldn't look away.
Edward brought his right hand up to my jaw, cupping it, while his thumb made contact with my lower lip. He touched it, softly rubbing against its length. My mouth parted on its own accord. His left arm encircled my hips and pulled me roughly against him. This was different then our other times together. I could feel the electricity buzzing between us, it was extremely intense and I wondered instantly if he could feel it also. His mouth was ever so close to my mine and I could feel and smell his warm, minty breath floating across my nostrils. His lips touched mine softly three times before I felt the cool wetness of his tongue sliding across my lower lip, begging for permission to enter. As if there was any reason to beg….. silly boy. I was his from the moment I first saw him. Edward Masen had me from the moment he fell over into the bleachers at the baseball field. He could have all or any part of me that he wanted.
My mouth opened and our tongues swiveled against one another. The sound of Edward's soft moan catapulted my senses. My hands hungrily reached for the back of his neck, pulling him closer. I wanted to taste him, devour him. Our teeth clanked together in the briskness of the movement causing the most delicious pain. “Uhh, mmm,” I moaned aloud unable to stop myself.
The kiss continued to deepen as we literally tried to swallow each other whole. Edward slid off the table, his right hand moving from my jaw to behind my head as he tangled his fingers into my hair. His left hand moved from my waist and slid down my back sending tingles throughout my entire body as his large hand went lower and lower, grabbing under my ass and lifting me up against him. How he was strong enough to do this with one arm I had no idea, but I naturally responded by wrapping my legs around his waist. Pushed tightly up against him, I could now feel the significant bulge in his pants and was surprised by my body's reaction to it. I lightly thrusted my hips and pelvis towards it again wanting to feel the friction it created against my overtly sensitive center. With so many new sensations racing throughout my body all at once, I felt like I was in overdrive.
“Bella,...I don't know what I'm doing,... but I want you so... badly right now. I can't help myself.” Hearing the desperation in his words, I opened my eyes and was struck by the look on his face. It was almost pained.
I moved my right hand from behind his neck, lightly smoothing out the lines that had formed between his brows. “I want you too, Edward. So much.” The tip of my index finger slid down the ridge of his nose to the tip. “And you can have me. All of me. I'm all yours.” My finger dropped down to his lips and he gave it a chaste kiss before sucking it into his mouth. The desire back in his eyes, I whispered, “Take me upstairs to my room.” His eyes flashed back towards mine silently asking me if I was sure. I blushed furiously, but nodded my head once. He kissed my lips again and let me slowly slide down his body until I was standing. Both of us moaning at the sensation. He took my hand, intertwining our fingers and led me slowly up the stairs to my room. It was times like this that I was beyond happy that my mother and Phil were not living with me.
When we reached my bedroom, I closed the door quietly behind me. Though I knew there was no chance of anyone walking in, it just felt right to have it be so private. Suddenly, I was feeling very nervous. I looked up at Edward and he seemed to have the same look on his face. “Should we put on some music or something?” I asked.
He swallowed and I was momentarily mesmerized by the movement of this Adam's apple bobbing in his neck. I had a sudden urge to lick it, but refrained. His voice was deep and husky when he answered with a simple, “Sure.” It nearly took my breath away again. I walked over to my stereo and turned it on. My favorite song of all-time sounded from the speakers as the CD was first in rotation. The electric guitar beats and sultry sound of Gavin Rossdale's voice was so perfect for this moment.
“Must be your skin that I'm sinkin' in. Must be for real cause now I can feel, and I didn't mind
it's not my kind; not my time to wonder why.”
I looked back at Edward reaching for his hand as I pulled him gently towards the bed. We were both so out of our element here, neither of us had really done much other than kiss other people. I pushed him down so he was sitting on the bed, his legs straddling mine as I stood before him. You can do this, Bella, my inner pep talk in my brain said. You can seduce you boyfriend.
Slowly I reached for the bottom of my shirt, my face heating up with blush, and lifted in gently over my head. Edward's mouth went slack and he tentatively reached out to stroke my bare abdomen with his hands. His eyes moved upwards, taking in the sight of my breasts, while his breathing became slightly more labored. After a minute he moved his gaze to my face, our eyes locking in contact, as I smiled shyly in encouragement.
His hands drifted slowly up my back, fumbling with the eye closures on my bra, but finally releasing them. He moved his hands to my shoulders and dragged the straps down at an excruciatingly slow pace, until it finally fell to the ground. The gasp that escaped his mouth when he finally had the courage to look back at my breasts, both embarrassed and delighted me. I loved knowing that my body could cause such a reaction in him. Craving his touch, I found myself reaching for his hand. My nipples were already standing erect in the coolness of the air as I placed his hand over my breast. His eyes flickered to mine for just a brief second before he focused once again at my chest. His hand expertly began kneading and massaging my mound. My nipple poked between his fingers and I felt him squeeze it, eliciting the most amazing sensation my body had ever felt. I closed my eyes letting the sensations overtake me.
His other hand began to make similar movements not wanting to leave either breast unattended. I let myself give into his ministrations, enjoying every second of this pure heavenly bliss. Suddenly I was jolted forward as I felt his arm wrap around my waist. I giggled slightly as I lost my balance in the process, but stopped abruptly and moaned when I felt the wetness of his mouth around my nipple. Oh, my lord, I take it all back. This is what heaven felt like. Edward's tongue circled around and then lightly flicked at the peak. I grabbed the back of his head, lacing my hands in his hair and pulling him closer to me. The encouragement caused him to begin sucking harder, both of our breaths beginning to come in pants. I felt like jello in his hands. His teeth dragged along the surface and then he bit down gently, causing me to cry out in ecstasy as my knees buckled and I fell into him.
Edward stopped and looked up at my body now hovering over his, grabbing at my head roughly and bringing our lips together. This kiss was passionate and frantic and so unbelievably fuckhot. Nothing like we had ever experienced before. My hips began to grind on top of him, wanting to experience the friction I had felt when we were in the kitchen. When contact was finally achieved we both moaned into each others mouths. Edward began lifting his hips, matching my movements, we were unable to stop the desperate desires within ourselves. “Oh, fuck, Baby that feels so good,” he said breathily. “But we have to stop or I'm gonna cum.”
A moment later, Edward had me flipped over on my back, his mouth once again on my breasts. The room was suddenly very warm and I could feel the light sheen of sweat on his arms. I wanted to feel his skin up against mine, to feel our bodies connected in the way they were supposed to be. “Edward, take off you shirt. I need to feel you against me. Please,” I practically begged. He lifted his arms and had his shirt over his head in only seconds. “Oh, God,” I moaned as I took in his beautiful chest and abdomen. I pulled him back to my mouth needing to taste him and feel him against me. My hands clutched at the straining muscles in his back. I never wanted this to end. I could stay in bed with this boy for the rest of my life, just like this.
He began kissing down my neck, my collarbone, my chest, God, his mouth was everywhere. I giggled slightly when he kissed my stomach the sensations sending a ticklish shudder through my body. When it stopped I looked down at him. His face was serious and intense. “ I want to feel you, Bella.” He swallowed loudly before continuing, “down here. Is... is that okay?” I nodded nervously, wanting nothing more, but not knowing how his hands down there would affect me. He slowly unzipped my jeans and popped open the button, his hand splaying across my light yellow and white striped underwear. I lifted my hips so he could pull the jeans and underwear down the rest of the way. No one had ever seen me down there before and I was suddenly very self-conscious as his eyes took me in. “You are so beautiful, baby. All of you. I'm sorry, I'm so speechless. I can't seem to formulate the right adjectives in my head,” he said nervously.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. The situation was so intense and Edward just looked so adorable. Only he would worry about finding the “right adjectives” to describe this situation. Suddenly all of my nervousness seemed to dwindle. I realized in that moment how hard I was falling for him. How nothing between us could ever be wrong.
Pushing up on my elbows, I looked down at him and blew him a kiss. He smiled and chuckled lightly then focused his attention back to my naked center. His index finger parted my slit and he inhaled sharply when he noticed the wetness that had already begun to leak out. “You're so wet. I wasn't expecting that,” he gushed as his middle finger joined sliding up though the wetness. My head fell back to the pillow as he continued slowly dragging his fingers up and down the area. When he touched my clit, I gasped and my back arched up off the mattress. “Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry” he panicked pulling his hand back.
I reached for his hand, his slick fingers sliding against mine and I moaned as I replaced them right where they should have never left. “So good, Edward. It feels so good. Please don't stop. You're not hurting me, I promise.” His eyes widened slightly at my admission, but he acquiesced and he began lightly touching my clitoris again. At first he simply circled it slowly, but as my hips began bucking up to meet his movements he suddenly changed to a faster pace with more of a flicking motion. “Ungh,” I cried out not able to stop myself.
The sensations my body was experiencing were like nothing I had ever known before. I had tried masturbating on my own a few times, but had never been able to bring myself to orgasm; I just felt so silly and uncomfortable doing it. I wasn't actually quite sure if I was having an orgasm now. Angela had once told me it was like an out of body experience. Fireworks would explode behind your eyes and your vaginal walls would spasm. Nothing like this was happening now, but I wasn't sure if all those things actually happened on your first time or if it was something your body did, once it had some experience. Regardless, Edward's ministrations were taking me to places I'd never been before. I wasn't sure if it could get any better than this. I was sure if it did, I would probably die in the process.
So imagine my surprise, when he slipped a finger into my vaginal crevice. I nearly jumped out of the bed. Holy hell. He was inside me. Edward watched my face closely as his finger moved in and out of the slick folds. When he saw me relax he inserted a second finger, and fuck if it didn't feel good. I hummed in gratitude and pleasure. If this is what his fingers felt like inside me, imagine what it would be like to feel him, all of him, inside me. Lost in my own thoughts I reached for his head bringing it nearer me. I could feel Edward's heavy breath blowing on my warm sex and moaned again in pleasure. When his tongue made contact with my clit, I nearly screamed. It was impossible for the sensations to get any more heightened. I didn't think my body could handle it.
I had absolutely no experience with oral sex and I was pretty sure Edward hadn't either from our previous conversations. My only resource was a porno Jake and I had found at his house once. His older brother, Paul had placed it in the VHS box for the Goonies, probably to hide it from their father. We were both shocked when we first turned it on and Jake moved to switch it off immediately, but I stopped him. There was something very fascinating about it. We were only fourteen and neither of us had ever even kissed another. I watched with great interest as the woman in the film gave the man a blow job. Completely intrigued by the concept since she seemed to suck, not blow, as the name would suggest. I watched her tongue expertly flick and swirl across the man's head before she brought him to orgasm and he spewed all over her face. At which time, Jake and I both shrieked and ran to turn it off. Promptly declaring how gross it was and that neither of us ever planned to do that to someone. Over the years we had gotten more bold, and brazened by friends' stories and we had gone on to watch cunnilingus, vaginal and even anal sex on that same video. The movie became less gross and more sensual the more we watched it. Unfortunately, the opportunity to try out any of these skills had never arisen and the thought of trying them with Jake was just gross. But now the time seemed to have arrived. I was delirious with excitement and trepidation.
Edward's tongue slowly licked my inflamed nub, while I writhed against him. More confident, he began flicking over it. Just then his fingers seemed to find the magic spot inside me and I arched viciously off the bed. Surprised, Edward stopped and I screamed at him to keep going, to never quit touching and licking me like he was. His fingers hit the magic spot again and I hissed in pleasure. “Right there, Baby. Right there. God that feels so amazing.”
His fingers moved faster, pumping against what I assumed must be my G-spot, while he continued to suck and flick at my clit. I could feel my legs shaking uncontrollably, my hips rising off the bed meeting his thrusts aggressively. And then it happened, white lights exploded from behind my eyes as my body spasmed in the most insane pleasure I had ever known. I felt the walls of my vaginal area squeeze ever so tightly around his fingers pulling them in further to its depths. I shuddered as the sensations overtook me, screaming his name and a myriad of curse words that I don't know if I ever strung together before.
As my body fell limply back to the mattress, Edward bent his head licking in the wetness of my secretions. I was fairly certain that it must be gross, but I was too spent to even talk. I was in such a utopia of bliss, I couldn't even think straight. All I knew is that I wanted him more. Right now. I couldn't move, but I still needed him desperately. Could this desire ever be quenched?
The aftermath of the orgasm started to make me ticklish where he was still licking and I couldn't help but squirm and giggle. He looked at me and moved up the bed laying on his side beside me. “God, Bella you don't know how wonderful that was. How beautiful you were when you came. And how you tasted... fuck, you are so delicious, like the sweetest of candies.”
Something about the feeling behind his words made me grab him and start kissing him again. I could taste myself on his lips and tongue and the combination of our flavors was by far the most delectable taste I had ever known. He had given me so much, and now I wanted to give something back to him. “I want to taste you now, Edward,” I said fumbling with the button-fly on his jeans.
“Fuck, baby,” he moaned. “You don't have to do that, you know. I don't expect anything from you. It was enough just to make you happy,” he replied, choppily between our kisses.
I began tugging on his jeans, leaving his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs in place for the time being. He lifted his hips allowing me to remove the offending jeans completely. Once they were discarded on the floor I moved back up the bed and looked him deep in the eyes so he would know I meant every word I was speaking. “I know I don't have to do this, but I really want to.”
I moved my hand across his hip and over his tight abdominal muscles, following the deep V imprinted in his lower obliques. Being nervous, I decided to touch him through the underwear first. I ran my hand hesitantly over his manhood and we both hissed in pleasure. He was a lot thicker and bigger than I would have thought. With my thumb and index finger I glided along his length taking it all in. Edward watched me closely, following my every movement. “That feels so good, Bella. You have no idea.”
Our eyes met briefly and with his confidence, I slid my hand into the waistband of the briefs and pulled them down. His penis stood at full attention with the material removed, and I gasped seeing it for the first time. He was so large. I didn't know how he would ever be able to enter me without me feeling pain. Tentatively, I reached out and took him in my hand. Sliding my hand very loosely up to head. I was surprised to find how smooth the skin was and that his head was already wet. Did he already orgasm? I looked up at Edward in confusion and he explained to me that it was the pre-cum. Wondering what it would taste like, I lowered my head and licked my tongue quickly across it. It was sort of a sweet and salty taste all in one. Not horribly disgusting, but also not as sweet as my own fluids had tasted on him.
Edward had practically purred in pleasure at the sensation of my tongue on him. Buoyed by his sounds, I decided I would try it again. This time I held him still with my right hand while I lowered my mouth to his head. I started small not wanting to choke. I sucked the area just past his head into my mouth flicking my tongue against him softly and then released him until he was almost completely out, then sucked him harder back in. “Fuck,” Edward cried out. I was just about to release him thinking I had done something wrong when he added, “That feels so amazing. I didn't know it could feel this good, Baby.”
I smiled realizing this wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I sucked him deeper into my mouth, my tongue running along the length of him. When I brought my head back up I released him with an audible “pop” then swirled by tongue around the perimeter of the head and flicked my tongue quickly and lightly, like a butterfly's wings over the top. He hissed once again in pleasure, and I noticed that I was getting extremely turned on performing this on him. I went back to sucking, bobbing my head up and down the length of his shaft. I began to move my hand in unison over the part that would not fit into my mouth. My movements became faster and I accidentally scraped my teeth along his shaft. I worried that I may have hurt him when he moaned loudly, but instead he insisted that it only made it feel better. After a few minutes, I started to feel a pressure building up in the base near my hand. “Bella, I'm gonna cum, baby. You need to move... now,” he said trying to push my head away. But I wanted to taste him. I wanted to drink his juices as he had done to me, so I sucked harder ignoring his hands as he called out my name and spurted his hot sticky liquid into my mouth in several spasms. I swallowed it quickly and hungrily, remembering hearing other girls say that the taste could linger in your mouth if you didn't get it down fast enough.
I wasn't sure how long it would take him to finish, so I continued to suck. Edward reached down and stilled my head. His laugh was deep and throaty. “That tickles, baby.”
Embarrassed, I stopped and quickly apologized. He grabbed me under my arms, pulling me up so we were now both laying naked on our sides facing one another. He kissed me quickly on the lips. “Don't you ever apologize. That was the most surreal moment of my life. I don't know if I've ever been this happy.” He pushed the hair on my face back, tucking it behind my ear, then kissed the tip of my nose, leaving his hand in place on the side of my face. “You are everything to me, Bella. Can you even understand the depths of my emotions?” he asked.
I could. I knew exactly how he felt as I had those same overwhelming emotions flooding through me just as he had. Smiling, I reached up linking my fingers with his and bringing our hands down towards our hearts. Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to formulate the right words to explain my feelings. “You are my life, Edward. I'd rather die than live without you.”
He wiped the tears from my eyes. “I feel that same way, Bella. Honestly I do. Why are you crying, baby? Please don't cry.”
I couldn't help it, I started to cry harder. He held me closer to him frantically kissing the top of my head, trying to calm me. When I was finally able to speak coherently I attempted to explain the reason for my tears. “I'm afraid... because, for, well obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should. What's going to happen to us when we leave for college? We'll be half-way across the country away from one another. I don't know if I can be away from you now.”
“Oh, Baby.” Edward continued kissing the top of my head. He held my head firmly in his hands forcing me to look him in the eyes. “We will figure it out, Bells. I promise. I'll switch to Northwestern if that's what it takes. You are my forever. I know we haven't been together that long, but I just know it; sometimes you just know. We fit perfectly together, like two pieces of a puzzle. You complete me in every sense of the word.” He closed his eyes and began rubbing his nose against mine.
I couldn't help but giggle as he quoted the line from Jerry Maguire. Edward could be so corny sometimes, but somehow, I knew he meant those words and that we really would figure this all out. We were each other's forever. I made a mental note to get online and fill out an application for USC. My grandfather would not be happy, but I could still spend time with him learning in the summers like I always had. I'd bring Edward with me; he would love being so up close and personal with those professional players. I could probably even get him a job doing something where he could be on the field with the players and coaches. I hadn't planned on telling Edward about my being prepped to take over the family company, but it felt right. I smoothed the hair back from his face and was just about to tell him, when I realized he had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful and beautiful in his sleeping form. I reached down and pulled the covers up over top of us, settling into a peaceful slumber of my own.
“Bella, don't leave me.”
I was startled awake by Edward's words. What in the world was he talking about? I wasn't going anywhere. In fact we were still sleeping in almost the same positions we had fallen asleep in. “I’m right here, Edward and I'm not going anywhere.”
“Please stay, Bella. I need you.”
I raised my head to look at him and realized he was fast asleep. I chuckled quietly. Who knew? Edward talks in his sleep. I considered just laying here listening to him, but I knew that wouldn't be nice. I didn't want to hear him say anything that would embarrass him later. I sat up and looked at my clock, surprised it was already eleven p.m. Edward would need to get home soon. He didn't turn eighteen until June, so he still had a Cinderella driver's license.
I shook him lightly, but he didn't even stir. Well this could be fun. He was a much deeper sleeper than I would have thought. I moved closer to him, trying our gnome kisses on him and whispering his name. Still nothing. I gently kissed him, running my tongue along his lower lip. He moaned, whispering my name, but still not waking up. I giggled, wondering if maybe he was just faking being asleep. Hmm... wonder if I touch him down there. I reached down giving his peen a little squeeze and suddenly his eyes popped open. I laughed heartily. “Damn you're a deep sleeper, Edward. I was wondering what I would have to do to wake you up.”
“Why are you trying to wake me up? I'm so comfortable here with you. I want to stay right here forever,” he said trying to stifle a yawn.
I shook my head. “You're so goofy sometimes, Edward, I swear. Now get up. You gotta go home before your Mom shows up here on my doorstep demanding her son back. I'm not so sure she'd be too happy to find us like this in bed.”
“Fine. I'll get up, but don't act like you don't like my goofiness. Because that's just a lie.” He sat up on the bed wiping his eyes. I couldn't help but gigglesnort at him. He turned quickly cocking an eyebrow up at me. “Did you say something, Swan? Because if I didn't know better, I'd think you were goading me. You aren't goading me are you?” he said reaching over to the area above my hips and tickling me. I squealed and shrieked for him to stop. He was laying over me, pinning me down to the bed with one hand holding both of my wrists, while the other continued to tickle at my sides. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.
“Okay, okay, you win. Stop baby, I can't breathe. Please,” I begged in breathy spurts.
“See? I knew you liked my silliness.” He smirked and then rolled over and rose from the bed. I just shook my head. Payback was such a bitch. Just he wait and see. Edward finished dressing and I threw on my underwear and a tee-shirt so I could walk him to the front door. When we reached the door, he looked down at me, holding me against his chest. “Am I gonna see you tomorrow, beautiful? There's no way I'll make it all the way until Monday,” he whispered.
I smiled up at him. Please, like I could make it until Monday without seeing him. “I have an errand to run in the morning with Angela and I have to go up to Port Angeles, but we could meet up sometime in the afternoon. Is that okay?” He responded by giving me a gnome kiss and I giggled. “I will take that as a yes, then. Can you meet me here at about four?”
Edward kissed my forehead and gave me his crooked smile. “See you at four, Bella,” he said walking out the door. I blew him a kiss then shut the door. Once his car was safely out of earshot, I squeed. I couldn't help it. I was overly ecstatic at tonight's turn of events. I ran upstairs and grabbed my phone calling Angela.
She answered on the second ring. “Hey, B. What's up?”
“Everything,” I said a little too enthusiastically. She laughed.
“I take it things went well with Edward tonight then. I'm so happy for you. However, I know someone who is not so happy for you right now and man, did he lay into me for sticking up for you,” she sighed.
“Sorry you had to deal with all that. Jake is seriously out of his damn mind right now. Some friend he is, let me tell you. First he accuses me of being a slut, then he tries to guilt trip me because of his health, and then he insulted Edward. I hung up on him. He'll be lucky if I even talk to him before prom at this point. So anyway, I will fill you in on all the Edward stuff later, but I was wondering if you'd ride up to Port Angeles with me tomorrow morning? I was hoping we could look for some prom dresses and I was also hoping you would take me to that Planned Parenthood place you went to when you started dating Ben?”
Angela giggled. “Well I suppose it really is going well then. Yeah, I will go. Can you pick me up here in the morning around eight-thirty? We should get a head start since you don't have an appointment. The earlier you get there, the better for a walk-in.”
I agreed and told her good-night, promising to give her all the sordid details in the morning. I quickly texted Edward good-night then crawled into bed. His smell still lingered on my pillow case, so I clutched the pillow in my arms and smiled, inhaling deeply. I drifted off to sleep soon afterwards.
~XO~~~~~~~~XO~
I picked up Ang early on Saturday morning and we talked about our boyfriends and prom and how exquisitely happy we both were on the drive to Port Angeles. Ben and Edward were such great guys, we had both really lucked out in the boy department. We touched briefly on the Jake situation, but dropped it when we realized it was ruining our happy buzz. Stupid Jake and his party-pooping self. Talking about my other best friend just made me feel uncharacteristically sad. I changed the subject back to today, letting her know I was hoping to take the next step with Edward soon. She smiled brightly and I explained my sudden rush to get to the clinic for birth control. Angela and her boyfriend started having a sexual relationship last year so I knew she would be able to give me some knowledgeable advice for the big day, whenever that was.
Planned Parenthood was nothing like I expected, not that I really knew what to expect, but Angela had filled me in on a little of it in the car. The nurse asked me about a hundred and fifty extremely personal questions, then I was brought into this horrifically cold exam room where I had to undress and put on this god-awful paper gown. As if that wasn't enough, the physician assistant came in next and went back through all one hundred and fifty questions, making me more nervous than ever. The next thing I know I'm laying back on this exam table with my legs spread wide, resting in some monstrosity torture device she called “stirrups.” My naked butt was hanging off the table making me feel as if I could fall at anytime. Alissa, the PA, explained she would be placing something inside of me to open the vaginal walls wider so she could see inside and take a sample of the tissue. I shuddered at the horror of the whole thing. When she inserted the ice-cold, metal probe inside of me, I winced and tightened my muscles. I had never felt discomfort like this in my life. Tears began draining from the sides of my eyes. Shit. If this exam hurt so bad, I couldn't imagine what it would be like with Edward for the first time.
Once the horrid exam was finally over, we got down to discussing the birth control. She offered several options. A shot that would need to be done every few months or a pill I could take once a day. I was scared of the shot and didn't think I could take any more pain for the day anyway, so I optioned for the pills. I left the office with three months of samples for Ortho Tri-cyclin and took one the second I got back into the car.
“How'd it go?” Angela questioned once we were alone.
How did it go? How did it go? Oh well let me see, I was asked like a million embarrassing questions, had to wait in a cold and creepy room, and had to wear a highly fashionable paper gown. That little piece of clothing will be all the rage soon, just you wait and see. Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, I just about lost my ever loving mind having to repeat the answers to the same million questions again. I fucking hate repeating myself and why the PA couldn’t look at the answers I already gave was beyond me. Seriously, do these people have a failure to communicate or something? And, to top it all off, the exam was just about the worst experience of my entire fucking life. So, how did it go? You have got to be fucking kidding me my dear friend, Angela. I mean, at least I did get to cover my ass back up when we were done, but holy shit….. way to throw me out into the deep end without a life preserver. Ships ahoy!
“Fuck you,” I huffed. “You did not tell me it would be that bad. I've never felt so violated in my life.”
Angela just laughed. The audacity, honestly, had me wanting to rip her throat out. “What can I say? Being a woman just sucks, Bella, but you do what you have to do,” she shrugged. I shook my head and mumbled something incoherently under my breath as we sped away from the clinic towards the dress shop. Another form of torture.
I was excited about getting all dolled up for this dance, but I was also petrified. I was clumsy, always had been and probably always would be. I was so afraid of tripping in my heels or falling while dancing and the possibility of embarrassing Edward had me a nervous wreck. I wish my cousin Alice was here with me; she would know just what to do to calm me down. Plus, she was the most fashionable person I knew and her expertise here, would be a godsend. This would definitely be a time when I would let her play her favorite little game, “Barbie Bella” and let her work her magic. Does anyone have a magic wand?
Angela and I tried on dress after dress before I found the perfect one. It was a blue strapless gown that was flowy and beaded and it made me feel like a princess when I tried it on. It was definitely something Ali would have approved of. Angela found a light yellow beaded and chiffon dress that reminded me of something Belle might have worn in a modern Beauty and the Beast. She looked absolutely stunning and I knew her boyfriend, Ben would be speechless when he saw her. We stopped next for shoes and I found a pair of silver heels that were only one and a half inches high. Relief flooded over me as I realized I could probably wear them without disaster. Lastly we stopped at Claire's and bought some costume jewelry to accessorize our looks. It amazed me how excited I was to be shopping for this dance since I was going with Edward. Had I still been going with Jake, Angela would probably have had to drag me through all of this.
Later that day, I met up with Edward and we cuddled on my couch watching Ace Ventura: Pet Detective as a late afternoon thunderstorm raged outside. He mimicked Jim Carrey pretty well and I swear he quoted more than half the movie, leaving me breathless and laughing hysterically. When it was over, we headed upstairs to my room for a repeat, although slightly more confident, performance of yesterday. Being with Edward was so natural and I was anxious to take the next step with him soon.
On Sunday, I focused on doing some laundry and homework. The senior class was responsible for doing a Senior Project that we needed to present at the end of the year. For mine, I had decided to produce and write the scripts for the Forks Journalism club. I have no idea why I picked such a topic, but it was something that was completely out of my realm and something I thought might be fun to try out. I had to write a research report on the history of journalism as part of the project, so I worked on that most of the day. It was dreadfully boring and most of the time my mind wandered thinking about how Edward's lips and hands felt like on me. Yep, I was completely addicted to this boy.
Around nine in the evening I received a call from Jake. I crossed my fingers that the conversation would go better this time, as I was really not in the mood to be fighting with him again. “Hi,” I answered tentatively.
“Hey, Bell. I suppose I owe you an apology for how I acted on Friday?” he asked rather than stated. This was not necessarily starting out well. Of course he owed me an apology. Hell, he owed me a lot more than an apology, but I hated fighting with him.
I sighed deeply trying to contemplate the best way to explain to him that he hurt my feelings, but Jake interrupted right as I was about to speak. “Forgive me, Bella. Please. I know I was sort of an ass.”
“Sort of an ass?” I questioned sarcastically.
He chuckled lightly, but relented. “Ok, so maybe sort of is a slight understatement. Look, I don't know how to say this without sounding pathetic, but I miss you, Bells. You are my best friend and I've barely seen you in the past two weeks. I feel a little lost without you and it's making me kind of on edge. I'm sure Edward is a good guy and I know you are not a slut, obviously. I'm sorry I said that to you, it was... wrong, on so many levels. It's just that... well, it was always us, you know? Bella and Jake. We've been inseparable for almost seven years, and now he is here for barely two weeks, and I feel like I've completely lost you. I've been petrified of what will happen when you leave for college and I've been holding on tightly to these last few months we have together here in Forks. All these memories we were supposed to be having together. To be honest, I'm freaking the fuck out and I know I'm acting like a salty asshole, but I just can't help myself.”
As much as I wanted to deny it all, Jake was right on several accounts. I had barely seen him and my phone calls to him were typically much shorter and less indulgent. The stuff with Edward was so new and it just didn't feel right talking to him about it. Jake was easy to read. I've known for quite some time, that my leaving for college was hurting him. He wanted to go and experience all that too, but his specialists felt it would be better or him to stay near home and attend a community college. Some place where they could continue to monitor his faltering health closely.
I hated knowing I was hurting him, but at the same time, I needed Edward in my life now just as much as I still needed Jake. The entire situation was a dichotomy with me being pulled in two very polar opposite directions. “I don't want to choose between you two, Jake. You mean the world to me, but Edward is so important to me, I don't know how to stress that to you?” I pleaded.
“Talk to me about it, B. You haven't told me anything, you've just basically cut me out. I can see how much he means to you and I'm not asking you to choose. I'm just asking if you and I can have some “Jake and Bella” time, too? Even if it is only a few hours a week. Please?” he asked desperately.
I never wanted to make him feel left out and I was sorry he felt that way. Of course I could give him some time every week. I didn't want to lose our special friendship either. We stayed up and talked for almost an hour, deciding on two days a week that we would designate as our friend time. Jake eventually told me he had found another date for the prom and I was surprised when he announced who it was.
Of all the damn people he could go with, he chose my arch enemy. Lauren Mallory and I had never gotten along, but since Edward and I had started dating, the situation had gone from bad to worse. She was constantly trying to flirt with him. Luckily, he found it just as repulsive as I did and we both did our best to steer clear of her as often as possible. Jake had never liked her either, so this was definitely an interesting turn of events.
“You are kidding, right?” I asked barely believing my ears. “You don't even like Lauren, Jake.”
“Well we hung out some on Friday night down at First Beach, since you never showed up.” Of course. Why I would ever think we could go through a whole conversation without at least one dig at me, I had no idea. I must be losing my edge.
“Anyways, we got to talking, reluctantly at first, but after we realized how much we had in common it came much more naturally. We bonded, what can I say? So I asked her and she said yes. End of story,” he said matter-of-factly.
Something about the whole thing didn't seem to add up. I couldn't imagine what the two of them could have bonded over or what they could possibly have in common, but I didn't want to fight with him anymore, so I reluctantly let it go. I decided to just be pleased the situation seemed to be defused between the two of us. I had my Edward and my friend Jake so I was just going to be optimistic that it all would get better in time.
