Chapter 12: Dinner and a Movie

Song Selections:

“Memory” by Barry Manilow

“Whataya Want from Me” by Adam Lambert

**Edward's POV**

“Let's go, Masen. Focus for Christ's sake. You're head has been everywhere except for on this field this morning.”

My head snapped back to attention as I heard Coach's words right before a line drive came buzzing at my head. My left hand darted up and the ball smacked straight into the webbing, narrowly missing my nose. Shit. The last thing I needed was to show up to Bella's with a bruised and broken nose and eye socket. Yeah, that shit would look fucking great for sure.

“Sorry, Coach,” I replied throwing the ball back towards home plate.

“Glad to see you're alive over there. I wasn't sure. Now get your head in the fucking game and focus on practice before I have you staying afterwards to run additional drills,” he said smacking another hard grounder my way down the line.

I dove face first for the ball, grabbing it just barely in time, then scrambled back to my knee and whizzed the ball over to first base. I heard Newton snicker from home plate and it took every ounce of restraint I had not to flip him the bird. Needless to say, my relationship with that fucker certainly had not improved.

What Coach hadn't realized was that my mind was not “everywhere,” but simply in one place. Bella. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her and our date all last night. I slept terribly, tossing and turning wanting Monday to be here already, and practice to be over so I could see her again. Around three am I got out of bed and jumped on my computer to do a search for flower meanings. I wanted to bring some to her house when I came over for dinner, but I had no idea what they should be… hence the online flower search. I mean despite the woman Bella was today, to me, she was still the same shy, simple, yet completely complex, sexy girl I fell hopelessly in love with all those years ago. And because of this, I knew that she would appreciate any type of flowers because that was who she was, but to me “any type of flower” wasn’t nearly enough. For her, I would want to give her the world and that still wouldn’t be enough because then I’d want to give her the entire damn universe. Yeah, I know, it’s a viscous cycle. As for the flowers, I needed something that said “I adore you” and “thank you for understanding” and “please forgive me for all my past mistakes.” Granted that might have been asking for a lot, but I was hoping the florist could help me figure it all out. “Go big or go home” I always say, so I needed to do just that because home…well that was wherever Bella was.

Yesterday could not have been more perfect. Well I suppose a kiss at the end of the night would have made it better, but I was trying to be good and follow Alice's advice on taking it slow. There was definitely a point in the car and the restaurant where Bella clammed back up and didn't want to talk. I could literally see the insecurity and worry written on her face and it nearly broke me. I wanted so much for her to just talk to me and to feel completely comfortable confiding in me. And she did. Finally. Though it took a very unfortunate distraction for her to loosen up a little.

When she explained what she had been feeling and thinking, I was remorseful. My intention had never been to make her feel that way. I adored the gift that she bought me and was more than pleased that she had even thought to get me one in the first place. My mind had been so bombarded with memories when I initially opened it, that I just sat and stared at it. So many memories of happy Christmas' with my parents. My mom going completely overboard and decorating every square inch of the house and yard with some type of garland or ornament or knickknack. My father playing the piano and us singing Christmas carols while my mother and I decorated the tree. Family vacations and excursions. Laughing at Sea World. Hiking and camping in Yosemite. Skiing in Tahoe. Even our move to the desolate town of Forks, where all of our lives changed. Memories flashed quickly through my mind like they were on a film roll. And then they all came to a screeching halt the day he died.

From there on out, my life had been more or less in a haze. There were memories I remembered of course. Meeting Jasper, graduating, getting drafted by Arizona, and my first game in the big leagues were the most prominent and important, but none that really measured to the childhood ones. Then I heard her mumbling something about taking it back, which I didn't understand. I tried to let her know that I loved the gift and that it was perfect, but apparently my face had not portrayed my true feelings because the next thing I knew we were driving in complete silence. I had already had ten years of painful silence from my beautiful Bella, so experiencing this on our drive to the restaurant was almost more than I could take.

I looked over at her while she drove, her face stoically staring straight ahead. Here was this girl, the girl that had been my first and only love, and she had miraculously showed back up in my life just when I thought it had lost all meaning. She gave me hope and made me want to be a better person. She made me want to stop just going through the motions and live again. Accepting this small gift was the first step to starting over. Unbeknownst to her, she had single-handedly gave me the key to open the door to a new and worthwhile life. It was both exhilarating and frightening as hell all at once. Frightening, because I knew it would only be worthwhile if she were in it. I couldn't, or rather wouldn't, let her slip away again. I would never be able survive and I was more than confident that this would be the same for her. We belonged together, it was written in the stars, and because of this I needed to do everything in my power to keep her with me for the rest of our forever.

Once we had finally gotten everything out on the table so to speak, dinner went remarkably well. Underneath her tough, hard-as-nails exterior shell, Bella was still the delightful, funny woman that I remembered from so many years ago. Her laugh was contagious, her humor and wit infectious and her brain remarkable. She made me feel both grounded and blown away in her presence. And I was desperate to find a way to show her that. Of course, that is where the idea of the flowers came in.

When practice was finally over, I jumped into the showers and dressed as quickly as I could. “What's the rush, Masen? Got a date tonight or something?” Tyler asked.

I smirked. “Wouldn't you like to know, Crowley,” I replied tossing and catching my keys in my hand. Newton gave me a dirty look and I flashed him my best smile before turning and walking out the doors and into the parking lot.

My first stop was to Blockbuster. Bella had given me the duty of selecting the movie for tonight and I hoped to God there was something worthwhile to choose from. I scanned the titles in the Newly Released section trying to decide on what she would like and what I could probably put up with. I passed by Marley and Me (too family oriented), Milk (Eh..), Slumdog Millionaire (maybe), Twilight (would Bella really enjoy a movie about Vampires? Probably not… thank god), and then finally came upon Yes Man. I remembered that we used to enjoy watching comedies together and thought that would probably be perfect. I picked up the first copy I found and paid quickly, hurrying to get over to the flower shop before it closed.

When I walked in the store the fragrance of flowers assaulted my olfactory glands and I immediately was reminded of my mother. She always had fresh flowers in the house. I walked over to the counter and smiled at the older woman behind the register.

“How can I help you today, young man?” she asked.

“Well I'm looking for some flowers for my date tonight,” I answered. “I did a little research on flower meanings last night, but I'm not so sure that what I found would look good together, so I'm hoping that maybe you could help me out, Maria,” I said with my signature crooked grin after peaking at her name tag.

“Well I'm sure I could certainly try. What'd you have in mind?”

“I read that pink and white roses stand for admiration and adoration and that hydrangeas have to do with earnestness and are good for apologies. I'd also like to put in one of her favorite flowers if possible but I don't think any of them really go together,” I mused.

While I was talking she gathered up some soft pink and white roses and a small bundle of hydrangeas. “Hmm, well what are the other flowers you wanted to look at? Let's see what we can do here.”

“Ok, well I know she is fond of the Easter lily and that is probably in season right now, but she also likes sunflowers, and daisies.”

“We might be able to get away with a few Gerbera daisies, in a very light shade of pink, but I don't think any of the others will work. Pink daisies stand for appreciation,” Maria said while trying to arrange the bundle into an intricate pattern. “What do you think?” she asked holding it up for me to see.

It was perfect. I could only hope Bella would look into the meanings I had carefully researched, but even if she didn't I knew she would love them. I thanked Maria profusely while she wrapped them up in a beautiful pink satin bow. Once I paid and walked out of the store, my nervousness kicked in a little. I hoped I wasn't laying it on too thickly for her. I so wanted to really reconnect with Bella and the taking it slow thing was honestly killing me.

“Slow and steady wins the race,” I quoted to myself as I drove through the rush hour traffic to get to Bella's.

I parked in the Peshtigo lot and then headed up to the 57^th floor of her building. My heart was beating frantically and my hands were damp and sweaty. I tried to wipe them off on my pants and took a few slow deep breaths to calm myself. Once I felt my heart rate decrease, I knocked on the door.

Only a few seconds later, the front door flew open and there stood Bella with a big smile on her face. “Hey,” she said, “Come in, come in.” Once I walked into her open entry way, her eyes traveled downward to my hand where I was holding the large bouquet. Her eyes widened, “Are those for me?” she asked looking back towards my face.

“Of course they're for you,” I answered smiling shyly.

She smiled back in a similar pattern and reached out for the bouquet inspecting it closely from all angles. “Oh my God, Edward, they're beautiful. Thank you so much,” she said as she reached up on tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek. “You know you didn't have to do this, right?”

Bella had just kissed me. Granted it was on the cheek, but if responses like that were going to take place, I'd be more than thrilled to drop a bouquet off to her on a daily basis. Hell, I might consider doing it on an hourly basis. See, what did I tell you about me, going over board, and taking things slow with Bella? Um, yeah… that shit just really wasn’t working for me.

“I know you didn't necessarily expect it, but it was something that I felt I had to do.” My eyes pleaded with her to understand what I was saying. I could only hope that she'd understand it enough to look into it at a later time. If she knew what I was telling her, then maybe she'd be more willing to take the next step in this relationship that we had going on. It was important to me that Bella sort of take the reins in this part of our story simply because I didn't want to push her past what she was comfortable with.

“Let's get them in some water. Come with me into the kitchen so I can find a vase and get them settled. Then I'll show you around my little place,” she said leading me down the hallway and into a large modern kitchen.

Bella squatted down under the counter and I couldn't help but check out her delectable back side. Immediately I had the desire to give her a playful swat, much like I had when we were teenagers, but I knew instinctively that would most likely not be appreciated so I stuffed my hands deep into my pockets.

“Here we go,” she said turning around holding a wide clear glass vase. “I think this will work perfectly,” she asserted with a wide grin on her face. Bella untied the ribbon and placed the flowers along with the attached packet of plant food into a what I guess was about room temperature water since she kept adjusting the water spout and testing it with her finger. She spread the flowers out and positioned them just right, before announcing that she had the perfect place to put them. “Come. Tell me what you think.”

I followed her from the kitchen into the living room and marveled at the dark chocolate, beige and slate blue surroundings. She placed the vase on a dark mahogany-colored side table that sat between her two couches.

“Perfect, right?” she implored and I could only laugh at her lightly and nod. “So what do you think? You want to take the tour or do you want to eat first? You pick.”

“Alright, uh... well honestly, I'm starved. Practice was hell today and I haven't eaten since breakfast. Would you mind if we ate first?” I asked sheepishly.

“Nope not at all. Here, make yourself comfortable,” she said handing me the remote to the TV “and I'll be finished in just a few minutes. Can I get you something to drink? A glass of wine maybe?”

“Sure, Bella. Whatever you have open would be great.”

She walked back into the kitchen and I glanced around the room. Pictures hung on the wall of Bella and her family and I got up to check them out closer. There were pictures of her grandparents, her father, her mother and Phil, as well as Alice and Emmett and the rest of the Cullens. Most of the photos were posed, but there were a few that were candid and those were the ones that most interested me. There was one of her and Rosalie at graduation. Rose's eyes were bright and you could see the happiness exuding from them, Bella on the other hand, was smiling, but her smile didn't reach her eyes and she had sort of a far off look in them. Almost as if she was looking through the camera not into the lens. Another photo was of her and Jake. He was kneeling on the ground and she was in his arms and had one arm hooked around his neck. Jake stared into the camera. His look determined but not necessarily happy. Bella had her eyes closed with her face on his shoulder. While an outsider might see the photo as catching her in a lost moment of contentment, I could see otherwise. She was not at all content. She was broken and she clung to him as if he was her entire strength. The picture was not at all intimate but more or less heartbreaking.

I pondered what their marriage must have been like. Though I was obviously no fan of Jake's, I appreciated that he was there to pick up her broken pieces and to keep her somewhat patched together. I had no real appreciation for what our break-up had done to her until I saw that picture. Perhaps I was being overly egotistical to believe that I was the cause of her sadness that day, but somehow deep down, I just knew. Studying the picture, I realized that I never wanted to see her look that way again. I was going to take Jake's place, like I should have years ago, and put her back together again, but not haphazardly like he had done. If it took me years to mend the wounds I had inflicted on her, I would do it because she was worth it. She always had been.

Why had I not tried harder all those years ago? If I'd been tenacious enough, I probably could have gotten answers out of Angela eventually. Maybe even out of Jake. I'd given up after one attempt at both of them. If I'd wanted to prove myself to them and especially to Bella, I would have kept at it. When I moved back to San Diego I should have called. I should have made sure that Angela had my information, just in case Bella had changed her mind. Whether she did or didn't, I really still had no idea. And why hadn't I looked into hiring someone to find her? I certainly had the money to do it, but I never even considered it. Was it because I was so afraid of being rejected by her? I mean that was one of the reasons I never told her about my dad in the first place. And when she left me, it was like I was drowning. She was my air and when she was gone, I could barely breathe. When my father died, it was like I stopped breathing all together. It took me so long to resurface that maybe I was afraid of being drawn back down. Again, I wasn't sure, but it certainly called for introspection.

“Here you go. I hope Pinot Grigio is okay. It goes better with our dinner than a red,” Bella said as she entered into the room with a smile on her face. When her eyes met mine, her smile faltered a little, realizing I was looking at the picture of her and Jake. “I'm sorry about the pictures. I uh, well, I didn't really think about them being on the wall,” she stuttered.

I gave her the most reassuring smile I could muster. “It's fine Bella. He's a part of you and a part of your past. I'm glad you had him. I mean it, really.”

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and gave a slight nod. “Thank you,” she whispered.

It would really be best for both of us if the subject of conversation changed so I took it upon myself to do that. This night was about us getting comfortable with each other and that was not going to happen if we only talked about sad and painful memories. “So what's for dinner tonight, Chef,” I said with a large smile.

“Well I don't know about the whole chef thing. I'm completely self-taught and Food Network skilled. I'm not sure that qualifies as anything close to a chef,” Bella said with a small smirk. “Plus if you'd ever tried my mother's cooking you would know I certainly did not learn anything from her. But I came across this recipe a while back and I think it's pretty good. It's called lemon spaghetti. The lemon makes it seem lighter, more summer-ish I think. I don't know. Hopefully you'll like it.”

I laughed out loud. “You're babbling you know. You do that when you're nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about, Bella. I'm a bachelor. I spend half my year on the road. It's a home-cooked meal and you made it, so I'm sure I'll love it regardless. Come,” I said slinging my arm around her shoulder. “I'm starving.”

We walked back into the kitchen and she motioned for me to take a seat at her island. “The dining room just seemed too formal, plus this is where I always eat, so...”

“It's perfect, Bella and I have to say, it smells damn good,” I replied rubbing my palms together.

She giggled. “Well that is actually the cheesy garlic bread. That was a recipe from my grandma. That I know you'll like.”

Bella removed the loaf from the oven and opened the foil. The smell assaulted my nose and I moaned in pleasure. She turned to give me an incredulous smile before shaking her head and draining the spaghetti from the pot. A few minutes later she had the whole spread sat out in front of us. It looked fantastic. I hadn't had a home cooked meal since my mother was in town back in February. Damn, that was sad.

“So should we toast before we eat?” I asked. Bella smiled and raised her glass so I went ahead and continued. “To us, to starting over and to at least reclaiming our friendship,” I declared boldly.

Bella smiled and added her own sentiments. “To living and laughing again. To happiness.” We clinked our glasses together and took a drink. “Now dig in. I know you're dying to.”

The meal was delicious. I had no idea what she was talking about when she said she wasn't that great of a cook. The meal easily rivaled any one of my mother's. We talked animatedly about everyday things. She told me stories of Alice and Emmett when they were kids. About going to college and rooming with Rose. I told her about Jasper and then we discussed the obnoxiousness that was Alice and Jasper's relationship now. We laughed constantly. Everything just felt right. Like this is how it should have always been. But I didn't want to dwell on the past tonight. I wanted to focus on us, where we were now, and what might happen in the future.

After I helped her tidy up the dishes, because my mother taught me that the chef should never be the one to clean up, we headed back into the living room. Bella went to set up the DVD and sound system while I settled into the couch and poured us each another glass of wine. “So a comedy, huh? Guess my toast was appropriate,” she smirked.

“Yeah, I just remembered we both always liked them and I wasn't really sure. Have you already seen it?” I asked.

Bella headed back over to the couch plopping herself down next to me. “No, but Em and Rose saw it and they enjoyed it. Then again, those two have some of the oddest sense of humors I know, so I guess we'll see.”

The movie started and Bella adjusted the volume and then the lights which were also apparently run on some sort of dimmer remote. I leaned back on the couch suddenly very nervous. I wasn't sure what to do with my hands. I almost laughed out loud as I felt like a sixteen year-old on his first date. I gripped my wine goblet tightly and focused on that much more than I should have. The movie was actually sort of funny. I don't always find Jim Carrey movies all that amusing, but this one was honestly not that bad. About a half hour into the film I noticed both our glasses were almost empty so I leaned forward and refilled them. Then sat awkwardly back again.

A few minutes later Bella exclaimed, “Shit. I think my earring got caught on the blanket. Can you see if it fell back behind the couch?”

I sat my glass down on the center table and turned my body to peer over the back. It was so dark in the room I was pretty sure there was no way I would be able to see it. I padded the blanket with my hand, seeing if maybe it was caught on one of the weaves. “What's it look like? I don't really see anything.”

Once my head was turned, I felt Bella snuggle into my side. “That's okay, E. Don't worry about it. I'll look for it afterwards when the lights are back on,” she said with small yawn.

I bit both lips into my mouth to try and stop the smile on my face. Had she really just set me up? Since I was obviously too much of a pussy to make the first move myself, she had taken it upon herself to do it. Honestly though, who the hell cared. My girl's head was lying against my chest and that was all that mattered in this moment. Not about to waste another minute over-thinking things, I wrapped my arm around her body and held her close to me. Instantaneously I felt a sudden sense of contentment, a feeling of calm, a feeling of home. I knew that was the one moment where everything between us changed. This is what the past ten years of our life should have been and this was the moment that signaled what the rest of our life together would be. Happiness, love, contentment, acceptance, and….. perfection.

Each time we laughed I felt like she was snuggling in a little closer. It was two of the most serene hours I had experienced in years. I watched more of Bella than I did of the movie and that made it probably the best movie I had ever seen. Her eyes sparkled and I could tell that she was truly happy and content in that moment. She drew lazy figure-eights on my thigh with her fingers. Each time sending the most exquisite tingles over my leg. I had missed that electricity with her. I wanted so badly to kiss her, but I didn't want to be greedy. We had made progress again tonight. We were now passed the hand-holding stage (good riddance first base) and we were finally comfortable with each other. What if that was all she really wanted? I had to remember to go slow.

It was going to be so difficult to see her in the coming weeks. I had games solidly for the next two weeks and eleven of those days I was going to be on the road. Can you say not easy on a new relationship? I hoped against all odds that we would not move backwards during that time. I loved the direction things were moving in and if we just had a little more time together, going away might be easier. Wishful thoughts there guy, because whether it be one minute or one day, there was never any time that I didn’t want to be exactly where Bella was.

The movie ended around eleven and I figured I should probably get home. Bella looked tired and I really wanted to get a good night's sleep before the game tomorrow. There was no way I could play like I wanted to if I was tired and unfocused again. Not to mention, Coach would most likely bench my ass. I've never been benched before and I sure as hell was not wanting to start now. I played ball well through many obstacles in my life, including my depression. Having a relationship with Bella meant everything to me, even more to me than my career, but if I wanted to stay employed and not disappoint her, I was going to have to learn how to juggle them both. And I had already promised myself that disappointing Bella again was not an option.

“I should get going, Bella. I don't want to be up too late before the game tomorrow. And you see, I have this pretty amazing boss, and I really don't want to let her down.”

Bella sat up straighter on the couch, fixing her hair. “Oh. Uh, yeah, I mean of course. I don't want to keep you up too late,” she answered with a hesitant smile.

We both stood up and she walked me to her door. “Can I call you after the game tomorrow?” I questioned as I gingerly tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear.

“I'd love that. I guess it's going to be kinda hard to see each other in the next few weeks, huh? I hadn't really considered that before.”

“Well, yeah, it will be tough, but we'll talk, right? I don't want to go two weeks without talking to you. I think we are just starting to reconnect and... well to be blatantly honest, I don't want to go backwards, Bella.”

She swallowed hard. “Me neither.”

“Good. So we're on the same page here and we'll make it work. We just have to.” I kissed her on the forehead and held her head tightly to my lips, lingering probably longer than I should have. “I'll call you as soon as I'm leaving the stadium tomorrow,” I promised as I opened her door.

Bella nodded and then stood in the doorway watching as I climbed into the elevator. “Night, Edward,” she said quietly just as the doors began closing.

“Sweet Dreams, my beautiful girl,” I smiled back at her before the doors closed completely cutting her off from my vision.